Chav Olympics

A friend of mine was wandering through the site afresh to check out the new design and found a link to my page on fainting goats, he emailed me to tell me what a weird thing it was to have, and I explained how I find weird stuff like that really interesting when he replied with a link to the Worm Charming Championships website, which I thought was great (only the Brits could invent that). I emailed to say it was fantastic and he replied with a link to the World Bog Snorkelling Championships home page (I swear I’m not making this up, congrats to Phillip John who successfully defended his title for the second time in 2004). The World Championships are sponsored by Ben and Jerry’s ice cream no less. There were 146 entrants last year. At my jubilation with the bog snorkelling (which, like the worm charming, I’d heard about before), he replied with a link to the legendary Redneck Games. Again, I’d come across this before, but then it occurred to me that the UK needs it’s own event featuring a culturally deprived sector of the community, it will henceforth be known as the Chav Olympics. For those people who are unfamiliar with the word Chav, check out the Chav Scum website and, more importantly, their handy guide on spotting a Chav.

Anyway, recommended events so far are:

  • 20m Lidl bargain dash!
  • Smoke your own weight!
  • CCTV shoplifting!
  • Looking hard without facial hair!
  • Evading Police whilst p****d and underage!
  • The 100m Sprint (athletes must complete the course with a VCR under one arm and a microwave under the other. After 20m, a police dog will be released)
  • Fencing (athletes will then be required to dispose of a collection of antiques, electrical goods, watches, mountain bikes and car stereos, in the shortest possible time)
  • Decibel Challenge (the athlete who can listen to Goldie Lookin’ Chain the loudest without their ears bleeding)

Post any other suggestions in the comments.

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